Too much had happened. There was no going back. I have grown more and more jaded by the pain. I always knew love was an impossible reach in the world I come from. There are only expectations and stamps of approval. There is no genuine interest in who I am and what I stand for. Despite knowing this my whole life - the recent events are jarring nonetheless. It was a longtime coming. After nearly a year of the suffering, the taunts, the torture - it feels like there is no where else to turn. I have timed out on the people in my life - there is no peace, no reprieve. Only one thing makes sense. My relationships with the people I love have been through enough. this cyclical drama of pain and neglect, pain and assault, pain and a lot more pain can no longer sustain even the deepest love. I am too proud to let the world know how much pain I am in. How did love get so far from me? I try not to see this for the emotional damage it is causing and remind myself there are no obligatory relationships in this life.
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