Gutter Rats

Whether it’s through love, art, or spontaneity…to be inspired is magical. And the more magic you feel, the more fulfilled you live. When the powers of fate grace us with true love, beautiful art, sensational experiences – it’s easy to be inspired…you would be crazy not to embrace the magic. The challenge is when you must create your own magic. When you must search inside yourself for a reason, a goal, an incentive to keep going. Without purpose, how far could you drive through a fog...how far would you drive?

For as long as I can remember, I have gravitated towards people and places that represent the antithesis of my own surroundings. The destroyed neighborhoods at the battered corners of a pristine town…..the row homes with the beaten down doorways…symbolizing the lives of its occupants: broken souls shunned by society. The addicts, the criminals, the mentally ill, the morally deranged….they were the gutter rats, the abandoned throwaways deemed worthless. 

What exactly appealed to me about such an unfortunate situation? Perhaps it was the stark contrast between the world I knew and the world I witnessed that really heightened my affinity. At home, with my family, my friends – I lived through a constant series of filters. It was exhausting to say the least. I grew tired of the burdens that censorship necessitates. It felt dishonest and impossible to continue for an entire lifetime. 

When I would come across the kinds of people my mother labeled as "nobodys"...Rejected by society because of poverty, disability, or simply bad luck - it didn't matter....because I saw much more than a nobody. I saw the torture in their eyes, the love in their hearts, and most of all, I felt the honesty in their situation. They weren't hiding behind excuses, they couldn't rely on luxuries, they weren't concerned about an image....they had only reality. Nothing more, nothing less. 

Whether it was an 85 yrs old hospice patient, a 55 yrs old handicapped homeless man, a 35 yrs old single mother on welfare, a 25 yrs old talented writer battling addiction....the quality they all shared  was the vulnerability that comes from adversity...and in that vulnerability, humans are much more open, they are much more real. I appreciate that beyond words. I respect them for their realness, for their bravery, for their truth. Ironically, it seems that the supposed "lost souls" of humanity are the ones who helped me find the way to my own magic...truth inspires me. Truth is magical.